THE "momzilla"

"momzillas"... our parenthood journey thus far has no lack of encounters with "momzillas", and most of the time (or all of the time), we take their comments with a pinch of salt, and move on without being too affected emotionally. But when it's a "momzilla" who's related to us (or at least me), it's a whole different issue, cos it's a lot more emotionally draining, and tiresome. This is especially so when THE "momzilla" in question makes snide remarks that are nothing less than 100% sarcastic to insinuate our (ade's and mine) lack of parental ability, just because she (along with many other "momzillas") thinks that our baby's not plump or "fat" by their "standards".

Yes, we acknowledge that Emma's slim, and is petite, and that she's at the bottom of the baby growth charts. BUT the fact remains, that our slim, petite and nimble Emma's healthy and developing just as well, and perhaps even better in some areas. She's got gleaming eyes that speak LIFE. She eats and drinks well. She has clear dietary preferences that surprises many adults. She is able to clap her hands confidently to make the loud CLAPPING sounds, and sings along with the music, laughs along with people... I've yet to find anything in her that suggests that she's under-nourished and under-developed, and that she's in urgent need of a "weight-gain" program!

And while I can let the remarks by "common momzillas" pass without me feeling angry, I found myself unable to do the same when confronted with snide sarcastic remarks from THE "momilla" who's related to us. It would be ok if she had been more constructive in going beyond giving snide remarks, and give suggestions and help out in taking care of Emma in a more practical way. To perhaps demonstrate that indeed there is something that can be done to help Emma gain more weight, and show that it (more weight gain) is better for Emma. But no. Nothing of that sort. Nothing beyond snide sarcastic remarks that wear us down emotionally. No explicit desire to want to help practically and constructively. Only explicit signs of reluctance at any physical "responsibility" in care-giving for Emma.

It's ok with us even if there's no other help in care-giving for Emma, for Ade and I are clear that Emma's entrusted in our care, and we are the appointed care-givers for Emma. We (ade and I) are accountable to God when it comes to Emma's life. BUT we're NOT about to then allow ourselves to be trampled on and be subjected to such sarcastic and snide remarks, especially if they come from people who're related to us and who are yet unwilling to participate in a practical and constructive manner. Talk is cheap. Period.

We rebuke those remarks that attempt to tear us down and wear us down. No way are we allowing such remarks to seep into our (including Emma's) spirit. No way are we allowing such negative remarks determine our destiny as God's children. We are defined by God's plan, His word, His heart. And we thank God that He is the one who's covering us even as we learn how to be good parents to Emma. We know who we are in God, and we know that Emma (and every one of us) is unique, and "fearfully and wonderfully made" by God.

In the midst of my frustration and anger at the remarks made by THE "momzilla", I'm also prompted in my spirit to forgive and love her. It's tough. Yet I know I have to. I really don't know how to, and I'm often at my wits end thinking of how to relate to THE "momzilla". This is one area that has "plagued" me for the bulk of my adulthood, and I'm praying hard for God's wisdom to know how to relate to her better, and grace to be able to speak to her without having my words covered with frustration and anger. Help me learn to love THE "momzilla", Lord.