(I found this on the internet and really identified with them... hahahah)- Somedays your rings and shoes go through spontaneous shrinkage... (in fact i can't wear my ring anymore! Am now having sausage fingers... bleah)
- You've reverted back to nervously checking the color of pee on every toilet paper wipe -- just like in the 1st trimester!
- You feel a kinship to ducks or penguins.
- You feel as though a beeping sound much akin to the backup alarm on a loader should accompany your rolling over in bed --- and it takes WAY too long to do!
- you cant sleep more than 1.5 hrs at a time, cos you have to pee before that 2 hr mark rolls around.
- you finally realize why they say not to sleep on your back, when you realize that any sitting up in your bed send your lower back into a world of agony.
- you have learned to sleep sitting up, and are forcefully woken up by heartburn if you start to slide down too horizontally.
- your wardrobe is consisting of less "cute outfits" and more "whatever fits and is comfortable outfits".
- You and your grandma now have the same walk.
- you say to heck with putting on makeup and fixing hair before going out, isn't it enough that you get up, get dressed and show up?!?!
- If you feel like the big bad wolf in the 3 little pigs is YOU, cos you huff and you puff and you're afraid you'll blow the house down....
- You are constantly checking for any "wetness" and praying you never sneeze... or cough... in public... so as not to wet yourself!!
- you have found that you can not sleep without at least 3 various sized pillows including a bolster, and a fan blowing on you cause it so hot!
- if most everything you do begins & ends with a sigh, and there's a grunt somewhere in the middle.
- when you don't even have to ask your husband to help you off the couch, he can recognize that look on your face and automatically extends a helping hand!
- you're constantly thinking "What will I do if my water breaks here..."
- when you pee and stand up and before you even leave the bathroom you feel the urge to pee again ... you really want to ignore this urge but you are afraid that it might later turn into you wetting your pants.
- When you have to put your pants on by holding them in one hand and bending to that side for one leg...then switching hands and sides to get the other leg in.
- There is a spot on your couch that is starting to droop because all you can really do at this point is sit and watch TV in your "favorite spot".
- You want to slap the next person who comes up to you and ask you when you're due then follows by saying you look like your about to POP. (okok, I'm not that violent lah... haha)
- You can't wait to go to the doctor to GET CHECKED!!!
- Your toes have become another form of picking up things from the floor!
- you have to pee really, really bad and then when you sit down you are lucky to get 2 drops out.
- You lay on your side wondering how long you can put up with the hip pain because rolling over required about 10 movements and you're out of breath.
- You grunt before any movement at all.
- You look like an idiot as you try to hoist yourself out of a chair.
- You look like an old man trying to hoist yourself out of the car. You have to hold on to the open door while pushing yourself up with your other hand.
- you wake up and realize you've just taken a 3 hour nap!
- People no longer start their conversations with "hi" or "how are you?" but instead- when are you gonna pop? is that baby here yet? what's taking so long? not long now huh?
- It takes you 10 minutes to use the potty. Five to sit down, 2 seconds to tinkle, tinkle and five more to study your underwear... is that wetness discharge, sweat, pee or amniotic fluid???
- You have actually googled pictures of the mucus plug!
- You dream of the day when you are in the "worst pain of your life" and fantasize about the whole experience!
- You wake your husband while getting up to go pee at night because of the grunting, moaning and sheer amount of work it takes to roll over and get out of bed.
- The noises you make trying to roll out of bed to pee wake up your husband and he immediately panics, thinking you're in labor. Why else would a woman make those kinds of noises??
- when all you can talk about with your husband when he comes home are all the stories that were posted on babycenter or the motherhood forum that day.
- when putting on underwear/pants you stare at them first, wondering if there's anyway around the balancing act.
- every night while watching your husband sleep, you want to wake him up because you can't sleep, and you want to wake him up so he can feel how you feel.
- Are in complete disbelief when you explain that it is just one big girl and the person wants to argue with you or say something like... Well you never know. OF COURSE I KNOW... I believe in present day technology!!!!!
[ snug and comfy in her carseat... snoozing away ]
